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This is a photo of Dave Laney's collar bone after surgery. The 3 screws on the left are going into the bone that was broken off, the 3 screws on the right are drilled into the "good" bone. The accident happened in late January while working as a bike messenger in downtown Chicago.

The Story
At 10 am in 4 degree warmth, wind chill of -22, I am headed eastbound on Lake, full speed, turning southbound onto LaSalle (right in front of the Thompson center) when I get cut off and clipped by a car with no turn signals. I land some ways up on the sidewalk, off of my bike, and cloudy headed. No car in sight. A business man runs up to ask if I'm alright and/or need an ambulance. I decline the offer, call into dispatch and describe what's happened, claiming that I should be ok to make my remaining drops. Then I'll call in to see how I feel.

I get back on my bike, ride up to the chunk of my helmet 15 feet away from me, then up to my U lock another 30 feet up the road. I make it a block and a half before the pain begins to settle in. I lose function of my right arm, drop the bike (well, kick it until I stumble off) and call into dispatch, cursing myself for my initial evaluation while simultaneously kicking and beating the locked door of a storefront in attempt to escape the cold (I couldn’t reckon to use the unlocked revolving door). The security guard at the store lets me in while my conversation becomes incoherent to dispatch: "yea, um, 219... this is fucked up. I'm at the southwest corner of Wash and LaSalle. I can't really move... Starting to blackout..." And boom, I'm finished. On the ground. I wake seconds later to see the security guard finishing my conversation over the radio.

The fire dept shows up, then the ambulance paramedics who waste no time putting me in a neck brace and taping me to a plastic board on which I'll spend the next two hours. On the way to the ER comes the IV and an array of metal sticky things that connect to different computers, all the time accompanied by my backlash: "I can feel the bone grinding on bone, I broke my collar bone not my kidneys. Do you need that IV? Can you drop me off at the free hospital?" It was a money tally going off in my head: $500 for the ambulance, $200 for the IV, $600 for the stickers, $100 for the sling, $60 for the siren, $50 for the conversation...

 I got to the hospital taped to the board and waited for radiology. Four hours later they showed and I was released with the final diagnosis of separated ligaments and a broken collar bone. Now awaiting doctor visit #3, I will find out if surgery is necessary. The no surgery route is 6 weeks compared to the surgical 3 months. The upside to all this is that my job is covering all the expenses. Downside is that I can't tie my shoes and writing an email of this length takes about 40 minutes. But hey, you gotta keep that PMA. Now I get to sit around, drink coffee with codeine and wine, start working on a new magazine, and begin refining my lack-luster ambidexterity, all while collecting workers comp. And I'm in good hands here, so what the hell. I've never broken a bone before, so I'm looking at it as a TIME'S UP learning experience. Payback for 10 years of skating vert ramps from age 8 with no injury. I know everybody's got to put in their time, just hoping lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place...

Update (Monday Jan 26, 2004)
Looks like I will be needing the surgery on this one. On Feb 6 the doc will be cutting me open to install a new titanium plate across my collar bone. If this doesn't work (the bone that broke off is too small to drill a screw through) he'll need to reconstruct the AC joint (where the collar bone meets the shoulder). Unfortunately I had no say in what style or type of metal they use. I think I would have gone for the chromoly or straight up steel, but the doc advised me that titanium, as horribly trendy as it sounds, would be the best choice. Two weeks after the surgey I enroll in my first class for some time: physical therapy. It meets three times a week until I have full function of my arm back: 4-6 months. Ouch. Anyone for a visit to Chicago?
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Update (Monday Feb 8, 2004)
Just letting you all know that surgery last Friday went well (if I haven't been in touch for a while check story at bottom). The wizard operating on me attatched 6 screws and a metal plate along my colar bone and sent me back into the world with the "Ultra Sling 2," a device that simultainiously crosses the aesthetics of a Transformer and an automobile arm rest, while pointing reference to movies made my the current governer of sunny CA. Yes, I am now Dave2, with my entire right arm at least temporarily incapacitated. A pretty ridiculous sight. Walked into a store yesterday and, in the midst of thinking that all of the merchandise looked so shiny and apppealing (I couldn't figure out if I wanted everything or just wanted to look at everything) remembered that I was still on heavy drugs. I exited the store with a candle and a few other items, got home and re-read my post-op sheet which stated: "do not make any important decisions or sign legal paperwork."